Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Schedule without a schedule

Since Baby Bella is now 4 months old, one might think that we have things down as far as our day.  Or that I have had more than enough time to adjust to my new role.  However, that simply is not the case.  Every day is a work in progress with new lessons, changing baby needs and trying to fit my task list into a reasonable size so that I can get everything accomplished that I want.

This past week has really been eye opening.  I realize that the biggest obstacle in this whole thing is myself.  The pressure that I have placed on my role as mother and wife-and the meltdowns because of many different factors, left me needing to have a serious discussion with myself.  One thing I have said over and over is-I need a schedule.

Here is the glitch with that plan-because our baby is so young, her schedule has been constantly changing since day 1.  I can WANT a schedule really really bad, but the fact of the matter is-there is very little control that I have over that at this point.  Everything out there says "put baby on a schedule", but the fact of the matter is-growth spurts require more sleep, hunger needs change, the amount of physical activity that they do changes.  I now understand that I don't need a schedule, but rather a series of routines.  Think of it as disaster planning for a minute if you will.  I require x things done in a day, but let's say that Baby Bella needs a lot more attention that day-how do you ensure that you get what you need done.  Wake-up times can vary, what if it is an earlier start to the day than what you had "scheduled" for.

So I am re-organizing my mind and habits and tossing out the window all the previous thoughts I had on schedule and now focusing on routines.
 Example:
  • Isabella wakes up, diaper change, feeding time
this always stays the same, that doesn't change for right now.  Wake-up time however can start anytime between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m.  After she eats she roughly plays for 1.5 to 2 hours at which time it is diaper change and bath time, get dressed for the day.

So what I have to account for is that I cannot predict her wake-up time, but I can predict mine.  Her play time in the morning is when I get her outfit for the day ready, laundry, take my shower and get dressed, and clean up the house.  I also use this time to call my Mother since I still work with her.  That time all flies by and I would say at this point is pretty routine, however since I really need to lose weight-I am scheduling myself for a 4 a.m. wake-up so that I can work out.  See the other factor in here is that Mike's work is variable days, he is going to school right now and so his days are really packed already.  4 a.m. is really the only time that I have to work out alone and someone be at home with Isabella.  The rest of the day until noon is all variable.  For the past two days Baby Bella has gone for a morning nap for 1.5 - 2 hours.  This has been great because it allowed me time to pick up the house again, put away laundry, prep everything for dinner, wash and put away dishes and work on our finances and get her afternoon food ready for when she wakes up.  Once she wakes up again it is diaper change, food and then play time.

So anyway, the routine is what to do when she goes down for a nap.  If there is an extra nap in there that is great.  When I have extra time, go from the list of things that I want done for the week, sewing time, house organization, menu planning, etc.  The more I focus on what I need to do when I get spare time the better and more efficient I will become with the process.  I also have to really look at my wants vs. needs.  I have to look at Baby Bella's needs and then ensure that each day is the best that it can be-and realize that I am who I am and although there has been some change with having a baby, for the most part I need to find a way to work that into the equation as well.

Just like with work, the realization that short term and long term goals for myself and my role as a mother are a new focus so that I can ensure that I am staying on the right path.  I downloaded a new e-book today called "The Stay-At-Home Survival Guide:  Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane and connected while caring for your kids" by Melissa Stanton.  I will report my thoughts on it when I finish.

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